Publishing Ruined my Writing

(This is an old post. Previously only on Facebook.)

I self-published my first novel, Half-Blood, in 2016. There wasn’t a lot of planning. I somehow learned about publishing through Amazon. The first draft of Half-blood was finished and on a whim, I decided I was going to publish it. Once I got an idea in my head, I needed to fulfill that idea.

Sales weren’t too great, however. Family and friends supported me by buying my book, and I appreciate each one of them for doing so, but what did I expect? Writing and putting it out there isn’t enough. I needed to market myself and build readers.

I didn’t do that though, so I was disappointed when my book didn’t do as well as I hoped. I didn’t publish my next book, Ripper, until 2018. Ripper was a faster release. Again, I got the idea to publish it and so I did. I did a little marketing, but that didn’t result in more sales.

I lost my confidence.

I was so focused on trying to write something that would attract readers that I’d write a few chapters and quit every time. Anything I tried to write wasn’t good enough. I grew too nervous to even open my laptop and start. If I opened it, I’d stare at a blank screen and close my laptop again.

I officially quit writing in 2020. Maybe my time was up and it was time for me to do something else with my life. That didn’t last long. When God has given your calling in life, it’s hard to ignore. It took some time to realize my problem and correct it. You can’t do the same thing and expect a different result. I needed to do things differently this time.

I showed myself a little kindness.

I told myself that my writing wasn’t horrible. Everyone starts somewhere, and I had plenty of room to improve. I remind myself that my books won’t be for everyone, but they’ll be for someone who enjoys them. As long as my writing is for me, then I’ll succeed.

Writing has become easier and in 2022, I’m taking my writing career seriously again. This time I plan on taking my time and doing it the right way. I don’t expect the stars and the moon to overnight, but I’ll get there someday.

My message to you:

Always remember to love yourself!